Apparently, today is Left Handers Day. I had no idea.

I was beginning to wonder why so many posts like this were showing up in my Facebook feed today (thanks, Mary!). I guess that explains it. This has supposedly been going on for twenty-three years, so again, as a proud, lifelong lefty, WHY AM I JUST LEARNING ABOUT THIS NOW?

Anyway, in honor of this special day, please enjoy these fun facts I’ve put together about lefties:

Lefties make up only about 13% of the population, but they account for 50% of the last twelve U.S. presidents. (Half of The Beatles, too!)

Lefties are twice as likely to qualify for membership in Mensa. (Should come as no surprise to anyone who spends time with me.)

Lefties are three times more prone to alcoholism than righties. (I’m also Irish, so basically, I’m screwed.)

“Stewardesses,” “reverberated,” and “desegregated” are the longest English words that can be typed using only the left-hand side of a standard keyboard. (You’re now looking down at your keyboard and testing this for yourself. Admit it.)

Each year, many millions of left-handed Americans are killed, maimed, or humiliated   while operating everyday gadgets designed for right-handed use. (Okay, maybe a slight exaggeration there. But seriously, research shows that we lefties are far more accident prone, and will die three years earlier than our righty counterparts. Crap.)

Jack the Ripper was a lefty, which kinda makes sense when you consider that the Latin word for left is “sinister.” (But how, then, do we explain Dexter?)

Bart Simpson (along with many other Springfieldianites) is a lefty, and has been consistently animated as such for the over twenty years. (A tribute to Matt Groening’s own left-handedness.)

I am the lone lefty among my parents’ thirteen children. (Yes, I’m a freak.)

Lefties are empirically awesome. (This is fact. Don’t question it. I’ve done the research.)

Okay, that’s all I’ve got. I do hope that everyone was able to enjoy post, and that you righties out there didn’t feel too left out.

A Happy Left Handers Day to you all!